Friday Sep 29, 2023

TNP213 Parenting Beyond Power with Jen Lumanlan

My guest today is Jen Lumanlan host of the popular podcast, Your Parenting Mojo, and author of the book Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World.

After attending Berkeley and Yale and following a traditional career path in sustainability consulting, Jen found that parenting was her toughest challenge yet. She went back to school for a master’s degree in psychology focused on child development and another in education, and trained as a Co-Active coach to share what she learned with other parents.

In the book, she shares about her own struggles as a child and a content warning here for bereavement and discussion of disordered eating.

For my listeners who are people of the global majority, the book is written from the perspective of a white parent grappling with unlearning the use of dominance and other more subtle aspects of white supremacy culture. In this conversation, it does take a minute to get around to stating explicitly that white parents do not have the same parents as parents who are Black, or Indigenous or Asian or other oppressed identities. I want to assure you we do get around to that and also that it is front and centre throughout the book, and it’s handled with nuance. It’s an excellent book for folks who are actively seeking or maybe just starting to be curious about how to dismantle systems of oppression and unhook from supremacy culture and the use of dominance and coercion at the family and relational level.

Here's how you can get Jen's book through a gift economy approach: https://yourparentingmojo.com/book/

References

Decolonizing Non-Violent Communication, Meenadchi

Needy: How to Advocate for your Needs and Claim your Sovereignty, Mara Glatzel

My Collapse 101 course is included with membership in The Numinous Network

Stacy Lee Kong of Friday Things explains the coercive control at work in the Jonah Hill/Sarah Brady text exchange

My social media post/explainer on coercive control

Why Giving Choices Doesn't Work And What To Do Instead, Your Parenting Mojo Podcast

Dismantling White Supremacy Culture in our Families, Amanda Gross

White Supremacy Culture, Tema Okun

Zawn Villines on Facebook and their substack, Liberating Motherhood: For mothers who are pissed off about sexism, household chore inequality, and endless misogynistic bullshit, and for the allies who want a better world for all of us

How to Get Away with Parenting with Malaika Dowler