The Numinous Podcast

TNP266 Ritual of the Marriage Moon with Carmen & Ruben

This is a conversation about the ritual my husband and I devised – mentioned briefly in my new book, Spells for the Apocalypse – and which we've shared with many friends who've heard us refer to it, who've asked us how to do it, or for advice on what we've done when our marriage was on the rocks. We touch on topics like the real estate market, intergenerational trauma, neurodiversity, astrocartography, collapse-oriented choices we've made, attachment and the somatic cycle – all my favourite things!
This ritual was a "Hail Mary" move in our marriage. Granted, we've never dealt with infidelity or lies, and we've always had a foundational respect. We really, genuinely like each other which, sadly, not all couples can say.
However, patriarchy is still in play, what with us both steeped in this patriarchal culture. And trauma always lurks in the shadows. And attachment is a dynamic force that can sometimes be stretched too thin.
So here's the breakdown of the ritual we've done in desperate times, why we think it worked/works, and the impact it's had on our marriage. We call it The Ritual of the Marriage Moon.
We begin with a little context around why we needed the ritual in the first place, and how it's still serving us many years later.
Referenced in this episode:
Diane Poole Heller's somatic attachment therapy training
Portrait of a Marriage podcast miniseries
Portrait of a Marriage article
The Roots of Addiction in Free Market Society by Bruce Alexander
The Numinous Network (where you can access my two attachment courses: Secure and Contact Nutrition 101)
*Not referenced in this article but definitely related and recommended for man-identified folks who want to learn more: Bear Hebert's course, Undoing Patriarchy
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TNP265 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 18: Oath-Making & Visioning the Year Ahead

On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century, Timothy Snyder
Donate to the Amazon Labour Union
Get involved in your local 4H Club in Canada or the US!
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TNP264 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 17: Celebrating in Community

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TNP263 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 16: Honouring the Beloved Dead

Buy Aly Halpert's song or album, Loosen, on Bandcamp
The Spirited Kitchen: Recipes & Rituals for the Wheel of the Year
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TNP262 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 15: Blessings & Bounty from the Earth (Dec 29)

Today we're doubling down on our protective plant magic to bolster our spiritual safeness while the veil remains thin. We also look at 'wassail' as a noun, verb, and greeting which is especially appropriate on the 9th night of Yule which is associated with the 9th month of the year – the apple-iest month there is – September.
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TNP261 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 14: Tending to Hearth & Home (Dec 28)

In this episode, we're cleansing home and body with medicinal herbs by making vermouth, potpourri and incense in order to finish the year well.
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TNP260 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 13: Balance & Harmony (Dec 27)

In this episode we explore myths related to the beauty of binaries, balance, and cycles of death and resurrection. Some of the myths can help us queer the holidays, others can help us put strained sibling relationships into new perspective. Learn why why ham is such a symbolic meal during this holiday time, and consider some simple rituals to help you bring more balance into your life.
 
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TNP259 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 12: House Brownies & Tutelary Spirits (Dec 26)

✨My favourite part of Yuletide!✨ Hearth spirits, house brownies, and protective supernatural allies for homes, barns, and livestock are all propitiated at this time. For me, this seems like a great way to steer children away from the more commercial aspects of this time of year and spark imagination, intuition, and an animist sensibility. A fun ritual for today would be to research what house spirits were called in your family's heritage ♥️
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TNP258 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 11: Return of the Light (Dec 25)

Ancient traditions around the return of the light imply a revival of hope and healing. Pagans created art and apothecary items to reflect the beautiful and harmonious qualities of the cosmos, adorning their homes and bodies to revive the spirit in wintertime.
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TNP257 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 10: Honouring the Child Within {with Bonus Meditation} (Dec 24)

Today we honour the children in our lives and the child within us. Plus, more winter witches! woop woop!
Note: The final 4 minutes of this episode is a guided meditation during which you should not be driving, riding a bike, operating machinery or engaged in any activity that requires your full attention.
 
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TNP256 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 9: The Wild Hunt & the Restless Ancient Dead (Dec 23)

Ancestral veneration is a key function of winter rituals, a way to put our lineages in good order, encourage harmonious relations with the spirits of the ancient dead, and appease the restless dead who roam at night. On this night, we tell scary ghost stories that might include child-devouring crones, beer-stealing werewolves, dictator dogs and violent Santas. It's also a good day to honour the animal familiars who help convey gifts and goodness including flying goats, female deer, and horse skeletons.
There are also lighter aspects to the day including the reverence of Freya, hanging wreaths, and sacred spinning, weaving and fibre work.
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TNP255 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 8: Father's Night & Spirits of Place (Dec 22)

This is one of my favourite episodes because cultivating intimacy with the land I live on and the Spirits of Place is one of my favourite things to do. It also addresses, briefly yet deeply, how we can attend to the impacts of imperialism, colonialism and patriarchy in our spiritual work, especially4 at wintertime.
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TNP254 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 7: Winter Solstice and the Old Woman of Winter (Dec 21)

It all begins with the Mother. Tonight on the longest night of the year, we honour our matrilineages and the spiritual lineages of prophesy, blessing, abundance and nurturance passed down through the ages through myths concerning Crones.
Source materials for this miniseries:
A Brief History of Christmas Tradition
Anglo-Saxon Charms, the Journal of American Folklore (1909), F.Grendon
Apple Tree Lore, druidry.org
A Visit from La Befana, JSTOR Daily
Bärbeletreiben
Biedermeier period
Berserks In History and Legend, M.Speidel
Between the “Thracian Substratum” and “Oriental Accretions”: Bulgarian Mumming and the National Heritage Canon, Ivo Strahilov
CHRISTMAS GIFTS AND THE GIFT-BRINGER, LESLIE D. JOHNSTON
Christmas in Ritual and Tradition (1912), C.Miles
Demons and Spirits of the Land: Ancestral Lore and Practices, C.Lecouteux
Deutsches Weinachsmuseum, All About Christmas Glass
Doe A Deer A Female Deer, Danielle Prohom Olson
Feasts and Feasting in the Fourteenth Century, Jon Mackley
foodtimeline.org
Frau Holle in Legend
Fungi, Folkways and Fairy Tales: Mushrooms & Mildews in Stories, Remedies & Rituals, from Oberon to the Internet
Genius Fabulae: The Irish Sense of Place, P.Sheeran
Hearth-Prayers and Other Traditions of Brigit: Celtic Goddess and Holy Woman. The Journal of the Royal Society of Antiquaries of Ireland, S.Catháin
HiddenGlen.org, Michael Newton's courses are chock full of Gaelic lore and language. Highly recommended.
How Guy Lombardo Became Mr.New Year's Eve, Canadian Encyclopedia
Industrial Revolution, Chocolate Revolution
Lucy of Syracuse. Patron saint of eye disorders, Carlos Ortiz-Hidalgo
Marzipan Pigs Christmas Tradition
Mistletoe, Magic & Medicine (1939), L. Kanner
Negotiating Children's Music: New Evidence for Schumann's 'Charming' Late Style. Acta Musicologica, R. Kok
Notes on Italian Folk Customs, Stanley Gee
Otto Hofler, Wikipedia
Perchten and Krampusse: Living Mask Traditions in Austria and Bavaria, Molly Carter
Phantom Armies of the Night: The Wild Hunt and the Ghostly Processions of the Undead, Claude Lecouteux
Roast Beef, The New Poor Law, and the British Nation, 1834-63, N.Durbach
St. Lucia's Day: An Italian saint, a German child and a female demon all play a role in the story of 13 December, ScienceNorway.no
St.Lucy, Brittanica.com
Shedding Light on Saint Lucy, Aubrey Minshew
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Unknown author
Some Ancient and Modern Yuletide Customs (Dec.1939), L.Johnston
Sugar Past and Present
The British Isles in Norse Saga (1915), C.Fiske
The Kissing Bough
The Ancient Jus Gentium of the Aryans (1899)
The Feast of Saint Barbara with Pagan Traditions
The Krampus in Austria: A Case of Booming Identity Politics, Gertraud Seiser and Matthäus Rest
The Legends of Bertha in Switzerland (1977), M.Rumpf
The Lussekatter
The Old Magic of Christmas: Yuletide Traditions for the Darkest Days of the Year, L.Raedisch
The Pomander: A Brief History
The Problem of Mysteriousness of Baba Yaga Character in Religious Mythology, Evgenia V. Ivanova
The Rowan Tree and a Rowan Cross
The Scots Kitchen (1929), F.McNeill
The Silver Bough, Volume 3: A Calendar of Scottish National Festivals - Hallowe’en to Yule (1961), F.McNeill
The Song of Tapani in Finnish Christmas Celebrations, I.Rank
The Tradition of Household Spirits: Ancestral Lore and Practices, C.Lecouteux
The Women's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets, B.Walker
Unwrapping Yuletide: A Century of Icelandic Traditions, Gudrun Jonina Gunnlaugsdottir
We Don't Know The Origin Of The Candy Cane But They Almost Certainly Were Not Christian, Smithsonian Magazine
Witches, Werewolves and Fairies: Shapeshifters and Astral Doubles in the Middle Ages, Claude Lecouteux
Yule: The Pagan Holiday of Light, The TROTH | Education and Service for Inclusive Heathenry
Yuletide Monsters: Christmas Hauntings in Medieval Literature and Modern Popular Culture, Medieval Studies Blog Hosted by the University of Notre Dame's Medieval Institute
✨ ✨ ✨
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TNP253 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 6: Krampus, Lussi & Holiday Horror

Antifascism for the holidays!
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The Krampus in Austria: A Case of Booming Identity Politics by Gertraud Seiser and Matthäus Rest
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TNP252 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 5: Yuletide Food Lore with Carmen Spagnola

Inspiration for your holiday kitchen witchery!
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TNP251 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 4: Yuletide Animal Lore

What's the deal with dead bird on Victorian holiday greeting cards? Plus, a rundown of some of the Yuletide bestiary.
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TNP250 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 3: Yuletide Plant Lore

A look at Victorian holiday postcards and the botanicals of winter.
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TNP249 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 2: Grounding the Season

NOTE: This episode contains a 7 minute guided meditation – do not listen while driving or operating machinery! We begin the Yuletide season by grounding into our values and prioritizing just a few rituals, crafts or special foodstuffs. Then we can relax and release pressure to have or provide perfect holiday moments; instead we can deepen into rhythm of winter's work of ritual, ceremony, reflection and restorative pause.
 
Himmeli straw can be found at The Straw Shop
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TNP248 {The Spirit of Yuletide Miniseries} Part 1: The Anticapitalist Festival of Animism

Learn about Fumbulvinter, the 12 Days of Yuletide and their themes, and the stories of European Yuletide folklore in my annual program, now available for free! 
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TNP247 Intuitive Planning for the Year Ahead with Carmen Spagnola

This episode is about the four intuitive tools I use to plan my year ahead, incorporating divination, dowsing, and more.
Before I dive in, I take a few minutes to stand on ceremony as I cross and important threshold with this podcast. It felt important to take some time to mark it well. I hope you find the Canadian Heritage Minutes interesting! limləmt to the Syilx Okanagan people for accepting us here on this land.
In this very full episode, I'm sharing about:
electional astrology
water witching
pendulums
Family Constellations
wrestling with cultural appropriation
trancework as a form of death work
The Hellenistic concept of virtue ("arete")
working with your daemon (your good spirit of destiny)
guidelines for pulling an Oracular calendar reading
a special announcement about a new format for The Spirit of Yuletide this year
PLUS!
a preview of New Year happenings including a price increase for The Numinous Network
live monthly rituals from my forthcoming book Spells for the Apocalypse
a new Network event coming this spring: the Soft Sober Jam!
Referenced in this episode:
Chief Walking Grizzly Bear
Fur Brigade Trail
Syilx Language House
TNP226 Wild Horses of the Chilcotin with Wayne McCrory
The Divining Rod: A History of Water Witching, Dept. of the Interior US Geological Survey
About Family Constellations and generally all round awful person, Bert Hellinger
TNP229: What It Feels Like For A Girl with Emelia Symington-Fedy
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